September 2019, Looking back, I seemed to be a different person back then. After a whole episode of heart got broken, hectic schedules including the preparation to participate in a conference and stuffs on my research work, I seemed to be more determine to face everything head on. I had plans; I made those plans so that I can achieve my goals exactly when I want it (with the consideration if anything happens of course). However, little did I know, what the future holds. September 2020, A year later, I crumbled. I broke down. I melted. At first, I thought that it will be a temporary phase. But no, it was not. It was, in short, a whole roller coaster ride of emotions. There are days, that I am happy, I am good, I am okay, I got this. There are also days that I felt the need to detach myself from my surroundings. Alone amidst the crowd. The constant fight of rebellion in me and the logic in me. The struggle to think straight. The fight between the child in me and the who I am righ